GEEZ! I get on MySpace, only to find out that all of the blogs ive posted in the past 3 months NEVER MADE IT! FOOEY. I mean, i realize that i havent gone about posting my blogs in the normal way and all, but now a days, you really think you can start to depend on people....
Well i guess i better explain...
So about 3 months back...the NUM LOCK key got stuck on my keyboard. (i have a rumor as to how that happened, but thats another conversation)...anyways, with my NUM LOCK key, i was obviously screwed. I only had two options. #1 Make myself a grilled cheese sandwich, and then go buy a new $395 keyboard...or #2 Make my self a grilled cheese sandwich, and then go to my mom's and use her keyboard and computer to post all of my random thoughts.
SO? I made my myself a grilled cheese sandwich...and then i fell asleep. For about a day. BUT! Once i arose and peeled the grilled cheese crust off of my forehead, i decided to head straight to mom's to express myself through the art of BLOGGING. Ironically, i also chose to express myself through the art of CLOGGING as well...funny how that rhymes. (Notice i did not choose to go JOGGING...since it isnt very artistic, and it makes me see angels floating around me, right before the darkness comes)
ANYWAYS...im rambling....So i began to type furiously at my mom's computer. LOLing all the way through. Those were some funny funny times. When i finished each blog, i sent them directly to my mom's email address (IGaveBirthToThatHead@aol.com) for her to proofread, post on Myspace, and distribute amongst her many colleagues at the massage parlor where she works.
Little did i know, that Mom has turned recently to a life of crime and deception. Her addiction to caffiene and Everybody Loves Raymond has spiral well out of control, unbenownst to her close friends and family. I was the one to discover this unfortuantly, when i walked into her den, unannounced, and caught her injecting Mountain Dew into her veins, with chocolate smeared all over her face, not even 2 inches in front of her TV laughing hysterically and pointing, saying, "ROBERT! SHE ATE A FLY!!!!" (more laughter insterted here)
None the less, after i tackled her into the fireplace, i made her eat chocolate covered coffee beans until she threw up, and forced her to watch Doris Roberts recent nude scene in the film "Everybody loves Raymonds Mom", for 2 straight days. I think that did the trick.
But still my posts are gone. She sold them on E-Bay for $15 each. She also included a picture of Ray Ramano in the package, and told everyone that he was her "real" son, but im over that. I just want my blogs back.
There was the one entitled "Why i keep my right hand in my pocket at all times", and the one called "Whos hair is on my toothbrush, ah, who cares scrub scrub.", oh and the classic, "Spending time with Anna Nicole about a year and a half ago".
Well anyways, I wouldnt even know about the blogs being missing today, had i not been getting a recent massage, when Tibuki asked me, "Missa Jemmy, why no fonny stoowies anymoh?" (i dont know how to type broken JapEnglish very well, ISORRY)
So thanks to Tibuki, and my new mom, Patricia Heaton, i was able to swing by Best Buy and steal a few keyboards with a few of my black friends. (I was lookout) And now i am back in action...ready to blog for the entire world to read. Well for the 9 subscribers i have anyways.
PS. If you didnt get the joke about "ROBERT, SHE ATE A FLY", well there is a raymond episode out there that might just make you pee yourself. just ask my sister...
No comments:
Post a Comment